Um… awkward… I’m totally sure I called shot gun, why are you shoving me in the back? Yeah I realize I’m being arrested but the rules of shotgun are pretty clear man
yesterday this really hot guy came into my work so i called dibs and then i saw his wedding ring :// so i had to call his wife and tell her i dibbed her man ://// awkward (for her)
reblog if you like pasta
what are you trying to pull here dominos
im 28% applesauce
applesauce? more like soy sauce am i right ladies
Boy: Wanna go out sometime?
Me: No, I’m sorry. I’m really trying to focus on my career right now.
‘am i right ladies’ is the best way to end any text post am i right ladies
my friend who snorts cocaine won’t eat cookie dough because it’s bad for you
I hate it when you are having a bad day and everyone takes it personally, like no i hate myself, not you. get the fuck over yourself.
wow i’m actually so glad this post has been made
Blows your back out as your homie
Gotchu walkin funny as a testament to our friendship.
makes you cum in the spirit of comradery
Got ur legs on my shoulders to show u how deep our friendship is
hits it from the back to let you know im here for you